My hair and I have a complicated history together. First of all, it requires a lot of moisture and conditioning to get it to behave. Unfortunately, I did not know how to maintain my mane until I was almost twenty. By then I had already racked up tons of bad hair days. Really. BAD. Hair days.

Once I learned to handle my hair, I went to the other extreme and over-processed it. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve had just about every hair style and color possible short of purple. Permed, curled, straightened, long , short, bangs, no bangs, bald (as a baby, see pic), brunette, red, blonde, highlighted… I’ve had it all. My father-in-law even joked that my husband got a new wife every month for a while!

For a long time, I had it long. I loved my long hair. My husband loved my long hair. I had long hair for several years. And then I got…

MOM HAIR.

The day after I got pregnant, I ran to a salon during my lunch hour on a whim and chopped off at least eight inches. I didn’t even know I was pregnant yet, but my hormones knew, and my hormones said, “cut your hair!” Because that’s what moms do, we cut our hair short. Because we instinctively know that babies instinctively know how to pull on any hair that’s there. We also know we won’t have 30 minutes to style 30 inches of hair every morning. At that point my hair wasn’t even that short yet. All that changed when I found out I was pregnant. Then my conscious (albeit irrational) self wanted to go shorter! I wanted a “cool mom” cut. What does that mean anyway? Well for me it meant an angled bob. I’m not going to lie, I loved the hair cut when I was pregnant.

Then a few months after I had Micah I realized how much I missed my long hair. I couldn’t put my hair in a pony tail and it was getting pulled all the time.  Finally, a year after he was born, it’s finally long enough to put back, which is what I do on those days I don’t plan on going anywhere or seeing anyone.

I wish to redefine “mom hair,” because I don’t think it needs to be short. Why does having a baby mean you need to go all Kate Gosselin? (Fake hair doesn’t count, sorry. Your hair is still short in my book.) Heather Armstrong? I’m calling you out, too.

Not that there is anything wrong with short hair… but there’s something to be said about retaining a small part of your pre-mom identity, I think.  What do you think?