I first signed up for Facebook around the time I started dating my husband, Eric. When I first signed up, Facebook was very different from what it is now. For one, it was limited to college students and I had to use my real school email address to even gain access. I don’t remember using it all that much, though I did want to immediately make my relationship with Eric “Facebook Official.” I made him sign up just so I could do this.

To this day, Eric still hardly ever logs on, unless someone tags him in a photo or sends him a direct message. But Facebook became something more for me. Something unhealthy. I was a literal Facebook addict. Other than my daily updates, I may never appeared as such, but trust me when I say that I was at least reading every status and update that showed up in my News Feed. What was there before the News Feed? I can’t remember.

I wasted so much time on Facebook – other things were suffering. I didn’t even realize how many things I was neglecting until I gave it all up. This year, I decided to give up Facebook for Lent. (The personal end of it, anyhow. I chose to create a blank profile to continue to manage my business page). I have never observed Lent before, but when my friend Chrystal mentioned she was doing the same, I decided to join her.

Things have changed since I left. My house is a little cleaner. My mind is a little less cluttered. I have the time to study God’s word every day – and pray. I have enjoyed more time with Eric. I have enjoyed more playtime with Micah. I have made things, like a new camera bag, and two crocheted cowls. I have discovered who thinks of me – they are the ones who have called and emailed, or asked me what I’ve been up to when they haven’t heard from me on Facebook. I created a complete budget and I have stuck to it. I have made plans to completely de-clutter and simplify my house (more on that later, in another post). I have rediscovered the joy of phone calls. I started playing Words with Friends (with actual friends, not strangers) and using my brain, ha! I have had more time to think about what I need to change and improve in my life (better budget, fewer things, more peace).

I am a week a way from the end of my Facebook Fast, and I realize that I am in no hurry to return.

This collage really has nothing to do with anything, except that belly buttons and Micah are pretty cute, especially when they are in the same photo.

The night of Valentines Day, we took Micah out to dinner at Red Robin, and on our way out of the restaurant, we ran into Eric’s brother and his fiancé in the parking lot. There was a moment of surprise, then a moment of awkwardness: it was freezing outside and even though it was fun to say hello, we were both on “dates.” I wanted to run to the car to get warm, and yet I felt like I should chat, at the same time feeling like a date intruder, and I’m sure they were freezing and wanting to eat. Awkward turtle. What are the odds, though, seriously?

*****

Well the cat is out of the bag, so to speak. I told Laurel and Tara my most embarrassing fifth grade moment at the retreat this past weekend, so I might as well tell the whole world. Just… get it off my chest. I’ll feel better. Or you will laugh, either way, someone will get a kick out of this.

The scene: fifth grade gym class role call. I’m sitting in a row next to a classmate, talking about fifth grade stuff. I have no idea what we were talking about…. all I know is I was innocently, absentmindedly “walking” my fingers across my leg while I was talking.

And yes, I was a little quirky, I guess. Finger walking – is that a common habit? I don’t know. Then my awkward fingers just kept on walking and crossed the leg bridge without me noticing. They crossed that bridge into total fifth grade humiliation.

I think I made it  halfway up her leg before we both realized what just happened and locked eyes. It was this horrible moment in which I turned beet red and she screeched “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY LEG?” loud enough that everyone in the whole gym, including all of the teachers heard it. Well I don’t know who heard it, but my fifth grade self was convinced that everyone saw and knew what was going on – that I was perverted and I was TOUCHING this poor girls thigh.

I don’t even remember what happened after that. I think I blacked out from embarrassment.

*****

When I was in high school, I went to a party – I think it was for youth group or something. I was just hanging out with my friends when this girl showed up. I had never met her before, but I remember thinking, ‘this girl is really beautiful.’ I can’t even remember what she looked like, and I’m not convinced it was her outward appearance I was noticing. What I do remember is that she walked up with a smile to my group and asked, enthusiastically, “would you guys like to come pray with me?” I think if I asked people this question, it would come across really out of place, but when this girl asked with such a big smile and genuine interest, who could say no? We didn’t…. we followed her into the house and made a little circle on the floor in the living room. And then, some of us being strangers, began to share our lives and lift each other up in prayer. And it lasted… a long time… we continued to pray. It was powerful, and moving, and one of the most memorable experiences of that part of my life. I will never forget that girl’s boldness and excitement about prayer. It is something I want to strive for – 10 years later. She was just a teen, but wise beyond her years. And her love for Jesus made her so beautiful. I wish I knew who she was so I could thank her today.

Family:

2011 was supposed to be a year of family expansion – at least according to my “plan.” And it never happened. And it’s still not happening. And yes, there is a little bit of sadness. But really, I can’t dwell on that or I will go crazy! I could just as easily dwell on all the other things I don’t have, but I can’t see how that would glorify God in any way. He has given me so much! I gained two little “nephews” this fall – Heather’s twin boys are the sweetest little things. Luke reminds me of Micah when he was a newborn. Micah has grown into such a funny little boy, and sometimes a very mischievous one. He gives me more love and affection than I could ever ask or deserve. He is always full of hugs and kisses. I’m the one he wants to squeeze in the morning. He likes it when I play with his mop of curly hair. His giggle can lift the worst mood. That little man loves to be tickled and show his daddy his cool stunts. He loves to make sound effects, for pretty much every single thing. He loves to run around in nothing but a diaper. He loves his Grandmas and Grandpas! He dances when I sing. He loves to help me carry stuff in the store. He is just an awesome little kid and I am soooo glad he is mine to love and watch over.

Love:

2011 has been the year of the crush. The renewed crush on my husband! We celebrated 5 years of marriage in August, and I think making it through the baby stage of Micah’s life together made us stronger. Haha! I’m just kidding. I think all relationships go through seasons, and I have really enjoyed this one, especially lately.

Business:

Well 2011 was my first full year of business. I started at the end of 2010 but didn’t really get rolling until the following May. Now at the end of the year, I’ve been looking back and analyzing what I have done wrong and what I have done right. I have grown a lot – that is for certain. Owning my own business has really stretched my organizational muscles. Things were a bit stressful at first, at least until I invested in some great business tools like Photo Cart & ShootQ. Even these fall short in some areas, however, so I am taking yet another step by moving to in-person ordering and creating a more personal experience after the photo shoot. It will involve more work on my end, but I really believe in the process. I will be taking on fewer shoots and hopefully the extra work put towards each shoot will equal greater profit and things will all even out. If there is one thing I lacked this past fall, it was balance – and there were a few times when it seemed like the wheels were going to spin right off the wagon. Next fall, as tough as it might be, I am going to learn to say “no” so that I can say “yes” to what really matters. I got caught up in the ideal of being “busy,” but when I really reflect on things, I realize that being swamped is not what I want. I am fulfilled by creating art for families – and catering to them. I can’t do that in high volume. So I suppose in some ways I am moving towards more of a boutique experience.

And those are the things that come to mind at the moment….

This year I am taking advantage of my Amazon Prime membership and I am doing ALL of my Christmas shopping at my computer. I was on the mend from my bronchitis, and then this morning (around 4am) I woke up with a painful sinus infection. I am sick of being sick, that is for sure! I have been going to bed early and trying to sleep in…. hopefully I can kick this soon! In the meantime, I am staying home and shopping online! No malls for me!

I can’t share what I’m buying for everyone, but I can share some of the cute things I found for Micah…

The Beginner’s Bible by Karyn Henley – this is an older edition that was highly praised in reviews. Apparently the newer edition is totally different, written by a different author, and not nearly as good. I love the illustrations. Micah loves reading his “Jesus book,” so I think he will love this version, which has quite a few more stories than his Baby Bible.

Fisher-Price Drillin’ Action Tool Set – Micah’s been showing a real interest in Eric’s tools lately, so I thought it would be the perfect time to get him his own “working” drill. I can just picture him drilling everything in sight!

I also got him a new pair of pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve/Morning – but these aren’t really a “gift” – I had him put them on last night and we took some pictures with his teddy bear.

Lately every time I try to have a conversation that is more than 30 seconds in length, my throat dries up and triggers a relentless cough, which begins to then break up the sludge in my lungs, which then gets caught in the back of my throat and triggers my gag reflex…. Gross! Fortunately I have a little red bottle of prescription cough medicine to help me ride out my annual upper-respiratory infection. Why do I get sick every December? Last year it was worse because I got the flu, too. Is it because I have just finished one of the toughest, busiest seasons of the year in terms of work and my body is fed up? Did I over do it? Did cheating sleep finally catch up with  me?

Today I was supposed to be singing in our Christmas concert at church, but instead I slept in until noon, finally got something to eat around 4… it’s been a week since I came down with bronchitis and I haven’t kicked it yet. These things have a tendency to linger for a while. My ear started pounding the other night so I started the round of antibiotics my doctor had prescribed just in case I didn’t start to feel better after a few days.

The worse part of being sick is not the symptoms for me. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I can distract myself with Facebook, editing & movies… The worse part for me is feeling like everyone is listening to the phlegmy sound of my cough and getting majorly grossed out. I feel like they are reaching for their Purell as soon as I turn around. Or that they are annoyed by me when I fall into a coughing fit, and my eyes are watering and they can’t understand why I won’t JUST TAKE SOMETHING (even though I have been, duh). And I hate the way my pale complexion manages to grow ever paler when I’m sick. I look worse than death. I am certain I look as worse as I sound… and feel. Blehch!!

Well anyway, the upside to today’s quarantine means that I actually had time to redesign and update my blog, and since my little family is at the in-laws watching football, I also have time to finish just about the rest of my work for the week. It feels good to catch up…. and my iMac does not silently judge me for coughing all over my keyboard.

I realize this blog has sort of died. I’m sorry to those who look forward to updates. Lately I have been so busy that whenever I sit down at the computer, all I can think of are updates too brief for a blog post, or things that will take too long to write out. I have been focusing on my photography business so much lately and that is because Fall is the busy season for family pictures! It will trail off soon, when the Holidays are near and it gets cold, and then I will have time to sit down and collect my thoughts.

Things that are new:

1. I bought a new computer, an iMac. It depleted my savings and that is stressing me out, but at the same time I love using it and it has made my editing life much less stressful – everything is a little faster… a lot faster actually.
2. Micah is talking in complete sentences now.
3. Eric has been promoted to Engineering Manager and will be traveling a little more in the near future. I’m hoping this also equals a raise?
4. MOPS bible study is starting back up next week – I’m excited for that!
5. I rejoined choir this year as a second soprano – but often I’ll just sing first soprano because it’s easier to follow the notes.