1. I need to make decisions about what I do today based on how it will effect my tomorrow, and my family’s tomorrow, rather than how it will make me feel today. Tomorrow’s consequences will last longer than today’s instant gratification. My family’s wellbeing is more important than my aversion to whatever chore I’m avoiding at the moment.

She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
(Proverbs 31:27 ESV)

2. I need to make worship, prayer & bible study the first priority in my life. This means, I need to make sure that my sleep, entertainment and work schedule are such that I am able to set aside quiet time for Jesus.

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
(Luke 9:23 ESV)

3. I need to make the distinction between what I want and what I need. This is my greatest barrier to financial freedom. This is also my greatest barrier to health. I need to be content with what I have, right now. I need to recognize when something that I want is not in my best interest (like that candy bar, for example).

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
(Philippians 4:12-13 ESV)

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
(Hebrews 13:5 ESV)

4. I need to be uncomfortable with who I am, right now, so that I will continue to rely on Jesus to become who I will be, in Him.

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.
(Philippians 3:20-21 ESV)

2011 was supposed to be a year of family expansion – at least according to my “plan.” And it never happened. And it’s still not happening. And yes, there is a little bit of sadness. But really, I can’t dwell on that or I will go crazy! I could just as easily dwell on all the other things I don’t have, but I can’t see how that would glorify God in any way. He has given me so much! I gained two little “nephews” this fall – Heather’s twin boys are the sweetest little things. Luke reminds me of Micah when he was a newborn. Micah has grown into such a funny little boy, and sometimes a very mischievous one. He gives me more love and affection than I could ever ask or deserve. He is always full of hugs and kisses. I’m the one he wants to squeeze in the morning. He likes it when I play with his mop of curly hair. His giggle can lift the worst mood. That little man loves to be tickled and show his daddy his cool stunts. He loves to make sound effects, for pretty much every single thing. He loves to run around in nothing but a diaper. He loves his Grandmas and Grandpas! He dances when I sing. He loves to help me carry stuff in the store. He is just an awesome little kid and I am soooo glad he is mine to love and watch over.

Love:

2011 has been the year of the crush. The renewed crush on my husband! We celebrated 5 years of marriage in August, and I think making it through the baby stage of Micah’s life together made us stronger. Haha! I’m just kidding. I think all relationships go through seasons, and I have really enjoyed this one, especially lately.

Business:

Well 2011 was my first full year of business. I started at the end of 2010 but didn’t really get rolling until the following May. Now at the end of the year, I’ve been looking back and analyzing what I have done wrong and what I have done right. I have grown a lot – that is for certain. Owning my own business has really stretched my organizational muscles. Things were a bit stressful at first, at least until I invested in some great business tools like Photo Cart & ShootQ. Even these fall short in some areas, however, so I am taking yet another step by moving to in-person ordering and creating a more personal experience after the photo shoot. It will involve more work on my end, but I really believe in the process. I will be taking on fewer shoots and hopefully the extra work put towards each shoot will equal greater profit and things will all even out. If there is one thing I lacked this past fall, it was balance – and there were a few times when it seemed like the wheels were going to spin right off the wagon. Next fall, as tough as it might be, I am going to learn to say “no” so that I can say “yes” to what really matters. I got caught up in the ideal of being “busy,” but when I really reflect on things, I realize that being swamped is not what I want. I am fulfilled by creating art for families – and catering to them. I can’t do that in high volume. So I suppose in some ways I am moving towards more of a boutique experience.

And those are the things that come to mind at the moment….

We got rear-ended.

I felt all the blood rush to my head. “Eric, you get out and talk to her because I’m upset.” I stared at the dash with a frown. Why am I a magnet for minor accidents like this? Micah was singing in the back seat, “A car hit us, BOOM!” Eric got back in the car and laughed at me when I flipped on the Christmas music.

“Remember that rust spot on the back hatch?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye. I nodded. “Well we don’t have to worry about that anymore!” We pounded fists and I laughed. You have to see the humor in these types of things. What’s done is done. We waited for about 20 minutes for the sheriff to arrive – he couldn’t find us at first. The whole thing was standard. Before he was finished with the report he popped over to our window to ask us for our registration. Boy, was that a loaded question! Our registration is expired!

“Oh that stinks,” I joked, “we get rear-ended and then we get a ticket?” The cop smiled and asked if we were going to take care of it this week. “Yes!” I said, and he agreed to let it go. I am going on Friday to get that taken care of.

The damage wasn’t horrible; I drove Eric back to work and decided to go to Target to look for a new set of sheets and a comforter. Over lunch we had decided to buy each other a new king size bed for Christmas, something we’ve been wanting forever!

Micah loves shopping. He helped me pick out a new set of charcoal gray flannel sheets, Eric’s favorite kind. I grabbed a Snapple for myself and a carton of Gold Fish crackers for Micah, and we headed up to the checkout.

Everything was normal until the whole register froze up while I swiped my card.

“Oh no, this isn’t happening!!” the cashier exclaimed! After my accident, this wasn’t phasing me. In fact, I wasn’t surprised. I don’t believe in Karma, but Karma was out to get me, probably for not shopping local. Bad, bad Target.

“It’s okay,” I assured her. A supervisor came over to check on things and before I knew it, I was sitting in the cafe with a free bag of popcorn and a slushy, waiting for them to see if my transaction had cleared in the system. Twenty minutes later the cashier and the supervisor came by to let me know that my transaction had not gone through and I had to ring up again at the customer service desk.

“I’m so sorry!” the cashier said empathetically, “I’m going to give you $9 in coupons for your purchase.” I assumed she meant my future purchase, but I was wrong. She rang up the sheets, the Snapple and the Gold Fish crackers and took $9 off the top. I thanked her and walked away, amused. This was turning into quite an interesting day. What else was going to happen?

I spend the rest of the day shopping for a comforter that I liked. Ironically I ended up returning to a different Target and finding the perfect set there. I called Eric and told him to meet me for dinner at Noodles and Company. Buy Local Karma was going to hit me again…

I found what looked like a pubic hair in my cheeseburger macaroni.

My stomach churned as I brought my bowl back up to the counter. I had already eaten a third of the dish, and wondered if I had actually swallowed any other stow-aways. The guy at the counter raised his eyebrows and asked me if I wanted a new one. “Yes, please!” I said, and walked back to my table. Eric and I decided (for our sanity) that it was a curly chest hair instead, because that’s slightly less gross. And really, it could be true. I wanted it to be true.

They brought me a new bowl and then the server came back with a coupon for a free meal at a future visit. Eric commented that we got two free meals from that pub–err– chest hair and I agreed. Of course, he was happy because I only ate about half the new bowl so he got to finish it.

After dinner, we shopped for and bought our brand new king size bed… which we have to wait about a week for. I am so excited to finally have some room to toss and turn! Eric and I have been overheating and bumping into each other every night for over 5 years, and considering the sad state of our very old mattress, it is time to move on!

At the end of the day I realized that while 3 bad things had happened, each bad thing had been redeemed somehow. It made me think about the verse, Romans 8:28, which says:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

I don’t really believe that Buy Local Karma was out to get me, but I do think that in small ways, God was redeeming the bad things that happened to me that day.

So this is what I was up to this afternoon during nap time…

Last week I bought an issue of Cosmo. Let it be known I hate this magazine, for many reasons, but on occasion I will buy a fashion magazine so I can study the pictures. I try to figure out how each one is lit, and I also take note of the posing. There were two really common lighting techniques being used in the ads: both of them could probably classified as butterfly lighting. One of them was soft – glamorous. The other was harsh and non-diffused. I want to try both – today I tried the softer version.

I put my SB-700 in my extra large soft box, directly above the camera, almost to the ceiling and pointed it down. At first I held a reflector at my waist, but the light was far too flat for me, so I nixed it. I blame this on the size of my studio space, which is fairly small and white, so often the room itself acts as a reflector. I also blame this on the size of my soft box – it’s quite large and usually produces very soft shadows. I love it.

I put a second flash on the background, diffused with an envelope.

It’s very flattering light –  and I will probably be using this for seniors from now on – I love the look!

I am going to try the harsher variation soon. I think I will replace my extra large soft box with my small one and see if that does the trick. I might even try a bare flash, we’ll see… I’ll have to come up with an edgier background to match the mood of the lighting.

This year I put up our tiny “newlywed-apartment” tree I bought from Walgreens five years ago. I decided it was better than picking up all those needles. It’s a little annoying that it’s fake and looks it…. but at least I can shove it in a box and be done with it after Christmas.

One Christmas is over, I’m seriously considering going out and being a real fake tree. You know, a fake one that isn’t so small I have to put it on top of my coffee table and overfill it with ornaments to hide the huge gaps.

I can’t share what I’m buying for everyone, but I can share some of the cute things I found for Micah…

The Beginner’s Bible by Karyn Henley – this is an older edition that was highly praised in reviews. Apparently the newer edition is totally different, written by a different author, and not nearly as good. I love the illustrations. Micah loves reading his “Jesus book,” so I think he will love this version, which has quite a few more stories than his Baby Bible.

Fisher-Price Drillin’ Action Tool Set – Micah’s been showing a real interest in Eric’s tools lately, so I thought it would be the perfect time to get him his own “working” drill. I can just picture him drilling everything in sight!

I also got him a new pair of pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve/Morning – but these aren’t really a “gift” – I had him put them on last night and we took some pictures with his teddy bear.

He is so excited about Christmas this year – and snow. This is the first season he has remembered from a year before. As soon as we started pulling out decorations and talking about winter, he started talking about presents and sledding with grandpa “on the big hill.” Realizing that his memories are there makes me feel like we have officially begun his childhood. We are no longer in the “he’s a baby, he won’t remember anyway” phase – nope. We are in the magical, “let’s make this a day he’ll never forget” phase, which has spurred me on to think of new traditions.

If Micah ever gives me crap for taking these when he’s older, I will tell him the truth… Uncle Mark did it.

(psst, thank you, Mark! haha!)

A bag of strawberries in the freezer… Micah always remembers they are there. After a few minutes in the microwave, they are soft, yet still chilled, and ready to be happily smeared all over his smiling face. How can a little person possibly be so cute? Am I biased?

Their new single is “Change” – and I’ve been listening to it over and over this week.

Churchill // Change from Tim Twinem on Vimeo.