This past weekend we visited Eric’s family in Ohio – we stayed until Tuesday. On the ride home, we drove through Chicago around 11:30pm and the traffic was crazy!! It took us an extra half hour to get home. I started getting really bored in the car, so I took my camera out and decided to play!
Traffic bokeh!
My brother-in-law graduated from NIU!! Such a huge accomplishment! I can’t believe it has been 6 years since I finished college – that is about the time I first met Eric’s family. I remember walking in the door and I’m pretty sure someone said, “whoa, she’s really pretty!” Before you start thinking I’m bragging here, please note that the tone of that statement expressed a slight amount of shock. I was the first girl he brought home. Apparently they had low expectations?
Anyway, two weekends ago we had a party at my in-laws to celebrate Andy’s milestone. He brought his new fiance, which was great because I have not gotten to spend a ton of time with her yet. (She came along on a recent family trip, too, which was awesome because I got to know her even more!) I will be doing their engagement photos later this month and I’m shooting their wedding next June. I’m super excited about that! I’m also excited about the fact that there will be two daughters-in-law in the family, which means the pressure to have more babies will be lessened. Sorry, Jen. Haha.
Here is the couple with my little man. I think Micah looks a little like his uncle… do you see it?
Eric’s grandparents came, too – here is his sister with his grandpa. They are an unstoppable Euchre team!
I like this picture because it shows my mother-in-law’s love for both balloons at parties and antiques. Plus you can see Uncle Brian in the mirror! LOL
(Yes, there is a recliner in the kitchen! Unconventional? Maybe. Practical? Sometimes… Cozy? Always!)
No party is complete without a few rounds of Euchre!
I love my in-laws! I need to bring the camera along more often – it’s nice to have a record of these little get-togethers. When I look at these photos I see so many details that seem ordinary now, but will bring back tons of memories later.
On Memorial Day, I took Micah to the zoo with my parents up in Madison. The Henry Vilas Zoo is free and a fun place to take small kids because of it’s smaller size.
This was the first year Micah was able to look through the holes of the animal thingamajigs on his own. 
And of course, we had to take the annual Micah-sitting-on-the-lion shot. This was the first year Micah did not need our help sitting on this statue. My boy is growing up!
I got to bring a big zoom lens I had rented for a wedding that weekend. I was excited to get some closeups of my favorite animals. I may or may not have planned the whole zoo trip for this very reason.
It was fun to listen to Micah talk about the zoo and all the animals for the next several days. He really loved it!
Yesterday I found myself feeling more frustrated than ever. I had dropped a sheet of paper in the parking lot, and when I picked it up and unfolded it, I saw that it was my prescription for my fertility meds. I glanced it over and suddenly I got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The directions for the progesterone looked off to me. I reread the days listed and I realized that I started it on the wrong day. I had thought it said to start the progesterone on day #12…. but last night I saw that it actually said #17. How could I have mistaken the 7 for a 2? That is what I did, and I effectively killed my chances this month. I’m so mad at myself!! To think of all the time, worry, pregnancy tests and money wasted. Now I’m just waiting for the next month to start so I can have another chance. I’m going to write it all on a calendar and triple check it against my script. So frustrating!!
I’d rather focus on what is good in my life right now. God has been so tender with me lately; he has shown me how much he loves me through worship, through friends, through my daily life. He knows my heart. He knows exactly what I need. My emotions are shaky right now, and most of that has to do with the meds and the physical adjustment. I’m constantly trading in these temporary emotions for God’s eternal peace, constantly offering up my concerns and frustrations in prayer, knowing that He will work out everything. These days I do not put any stock in my shaky emotions. I tell myself, this won’t last long, just keep plugging through.
I look at my life and the different “doors” that are presented to me. It seems as though the doors to baby#2 are closing and the doors to my career are opening all around me. I often wonder if God’s hand is present in all this – in that He has a specific purpose for me in this area of my life, and my plans for more kids is on hold because of that. I don’t know what the future holds so I can’t really make any assumptions, but I’m always seeking for opportunities to glorify God with the skills that I have and in the circumstances I’m in. The idea of ramping up my business really excites me. I love photography with every ounce of my heart! There are also other areas in my life where I can see that God might need me, too – for instance – one of my best friends is carrying twins right now. If I were pregnant, I wouldn’t be much help to her when she really needs it this fall! She’s gonna need extra hands, for sure!
So, a lot of things are on my mind lately, as you can probably tell. And I feel like my blog is getting too “heavy,” so I’m going to lighten it up a bit with some funny pictures! Ready?
This little boy brings so much joy to my life – a smile to my face I just can’t wipe away. I’ve never been more grateful for him than I am now.
That is what they should print on the label for pretty much any synthetic hormone. So, I’m on day 21, taking progesterone, and I’m telling you, it’s making me NUTS!! But there is one really good thing, and that is that the drugs are working. For the first time in my life I have a normal ovulatory cycle… that is not 40 days long!! Yeesh!
I’m supposed to wait until Monday to take a pregnancy test. Do you think I can wait that long? No! I can’t. If fact, I took one yesterday and another today. No one gets a positive result that early unless they have 6 babies in there, seriously. I know this, so why do I keep taking these tests every morning? Honestly, I’ll probably take another one tomorrow. I will turn off my alarm in the morning and then begin a silent debate about how it’s too early, but what IF? And then after wrestling over it in my mind for a few minutes, I will remember that the pregnancy tests I bought are only pennies a piece (yay internet strips!) and what’s the difference if it’s too early? I will take one tomorrow and I guarantee you it will be negative because it’s too early…. but because 10 users (out of thousands or more) on Fertility friend reported a positive results 9 days past ovulation or sooner, I will take it. I might be #11…. that’s the crazy talking. When I got pregnant with Micah I got a very, very faint line 11 days past ovulation, so I probably shouldn’t even test until 12 days past. That would be the logical thing to do.
Logical, I am not. I’m so forgetful, I keep leaving the sliding door open on the van for hours at a time. I was cleaning my house last week and when my favorite song came on, I welled up with tears because it made me so happy. I can switch been joy and sadness and anger 3 times in a minute. I can’t even list all the nutso things I did these past few weeks, it’s horribly embarrassing!
Clearly the hormones are making me emotional and forgetful. It’s been three weeks and I honestly feel tired from all this. How do people do this for years? What I didn’t anticipate was the emotional roller coaster that comes with the added pressure to get pregnant while medicated. Heather commented on a previous post that “Failing to get pregnant when taking all the meds hurt worse to me than just failing to get pregnant on my own.” I totally get that – I think I will feel the same way if this doesn’t work.
My grandma’s birthday party was a huge success. So many people came and it was so great to see family members that traveled from several states away to celebrate. We hosted it at my mom’s church. All my aunts made tons of treats and decorated it beautifully. My grandma dressed up and had her hair done – she even had a pretty little tiara!
This is my grandma with all of her sons and daughters – my mom is sitting to her right.
Here are most of the grandkids (and great grandkids). We were missing my cousins Josh & Sarah and their families.
The family just keeps growing and growing! My grandma is so blessed!
I have been hearing all these references to the end of the world happening on May 21st, so I googled it and found TONS of people citing some 89-year-old guy who says the rapture is going to happen that day.
He is wrong. Why? Because Jesus told us no one would know when that day was, not even himself! Only God the Father knows, and He certainly hasn’t not put a secret code in scripture to tell us when it is – that would contradict Himself.
Jesus is coming back, but I highly doubt it’s in a couple of days. Even so, we should all be living as though it could happen in any moment!
Read Matthew 24:3-44:
3 As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. “Tell us,” they said, “when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?”
4 Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. 5 For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. 6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All these are the beginning of birth pains.
9 “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.
15 “So when you see standing in the holy place ‘the abomination that causes desolation,’[a]spoken of through the prophet Daniel—let the reader understand— 16 then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. 17 Let no one on the housetop go down to take anything out of the house. 18 Let no one in the field go back to get their cloak. 19 How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! 20 Pray that your flight will not take place in winter or on the Sabbath. 21 For then there will be great distress, unequaled from the beginning of the world until now—and never to be equaled again.
22 “If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened. 23 At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah!’ or, ‘There he is!’ do not believe it. 24 For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect. 25 See, I have told you ahead of time.
26 “So if anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it. 27 For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. 28 Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather.
29 “Immediately after the distress of those days
“‘the sun will be darkened,
and the moon will not give its light;
the stars will fall from the sky,
and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.’[b]
30 “Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth[c] will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory.[d] 31 And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.
32 “Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near. 33 Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it[e]is near, right at the door. 34 Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. 35 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
36 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,[f] but only the Father. 37 As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; 39 and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 40 Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. 41 Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.
42 “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. 43 But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. 44 So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.
Yesterday I finally got around to weeding the flower bed. Can I call it a flower bed if it doesn’t have any flowers yet? Well there are no veggies so I have a hard time calling it a garden, but I suppose that’s what it is. We have a couple different lilies, hardy mums, some little “tree” I forget the name of, a fern, and a few hastas thanks to my friend Katy! We built it last summer, pulling rocks from the empty lots nearby. Our neighborhood is built by an old quarry, so rocks are everywhere, lucky for us!
A bunch of grass had decided to grow in the garden. I was about 3/4 of the way pulling it out when I took this picture – it really shows how bad it was!!
Micah’s hair is getting so much longer – I don’t have a little baldie anymore! And when it gets humid, which it has a lot lately with this heat wave, it gets curly. I love when it curls up! Micah played in the kiddie pool while I weeded, and he got pretty muddy, so a bath was in order when we came back inside. As his hair dried, it curled up again and I had to take a picture!
Last night I drove out to Freeport for a MOPS get-together – it was 80s night. Sorry, no picture for that – I looked ridiculous!! (Though, if you are my friend on Facebook, you’ll see a picture one of the other gals posted.) The whole way there I was really watching my speed to make sure I didn’t get pulled over. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be to get pulled over while dressed up in a n 80s get up? Then I remembered the site “Stuff White People Like” and how 80s parties was on the list, and I just started laughing. What were people thinking in the 80s? The fashion was terrible!
On the way home, I turned around a bend and suddenly the moon appeared over the horizon. It was stunning! A full moon, and absolutely huge! I tried to take a picture of it when I got home, but I just don’t have the right lens for it. I’m a sucker for stuff like harvest moons, rainbows, lightening… anything that displays God’s majesty. To think creation is only a tiny glimpse, even in its most beautiful form, of God’s glory!
There was a lot partying going on this past weekend!! My Grandma turned 90 years old on Sunday. You should have seen how many people came to celebrate with her!
I haven’t had the chance to go through all the photos from the party, but I am looking forward to it! I am excited to share them with my Grandma and the rest of the family.
I never expected May to be this busy for photography, but I always underestimate the number of people that will call me for stuff either that week or the next. I have had at least one session per week, and although that is not considered “busy” for some, it is for me! This is a “part time” business and I’m limiting myself to a max (in a pinch) of 3 shoots per week, 2 is ideal. That ensures I have enough time to edit photos in a timely manner in the time I have when Micah’s sleeping. I don’t want to work all day when he is awake – I want to play with my son! I have a chunk of debt from startup costs that I am really looking forward to paying off – and I think it will happen a lot sooner than I expected!
This weekend I am going to be at two different weddings! Holy macro – one very early in the morning I am second-shooting, and then I am running a “photo booth” for another wedding in the afternoon/evening. How exciting is that!
I just ordered new business cards – and they are not teenie tiny like my other ones (bomb!). They also feature my new branding and logo, thank goodness! I cannot wait to get them and start passing them out!
Here is a preview of the front and back:
You know what is not exciting though? I’m experiencing one major side effect from the progesterone I’m taking…. NIGHTMARES!! Seriously, every time I close my eyes, even for a nap, I have these terrible nightmares. And I wake up not feeling super rested – tense even. I don’t like this! I can’t wait for my body to adjust and not have these nightmares anymore!
I’ve been working on a new photography technique and I am just enamored with the results. What I do is shoot at sunset and twilight, underexpose the scene by 2/3 stop, and use my strobe in a softbox to throw soft directional light onto the subjects. It’s so pretty!
The effect it creates is a deep, rich background and very nicely lit subjects. The orange sky behind them acts as a hair light, separating them from the dark background. The processing is minimal on these.
Aren’t they cute? If you’d like to see more, visit my photography blog here.