Dear Micah

You are 1 year, 6 months, 2 weeks and 2 days old. You were 1 year, 6 months, 1 week and 6 days old the last time you nursed, and after 3 days I am still processing what it means to now have a child who is weaned. It is a milestone that I dreaded and looked forward to at the same time, and yet now that it is here, I am both profoundly disappointed and somewhat relieved. I am disappointed that you are no longer my little baby, but a boy. I am incredibly proud that you weaned all by yourself, without any tears from your blue eyes or prodding from me. In my heart I knew the last time was the last time. It seemed so final, you seemed so calm and reflective, as though you knew as well. I enjoyed that last bit of babyhood with every bone in my body. I savored the way your tiny hand played with my cheek. I will never forget it, ever.

You discovered a new world and a taste for freedom. You love to run as fast as your little legs will take you. Your curiosity and awareness of every detail around you inspires me to look for those little things, too. You make me a better mom and person and photographer, just by being your little self. You are still so very little. You still fall down all the time. You have developed a knack for lip smacking kisses that leave us all a little wet on the face (but that’s okay). Your hugs could never be duplicated by anyone and they make us buckle at the knees. You are the sweetest little soul I know. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God has very special plans for you. I will always remind you of this.

I know this is just the first “end” and there will be others. One day you will stop wearing diapers. One day you will ask for a “big people cup” instead of your sippy. One day you will strap on a brand new backpack and you will step into a whole new world, full of broken crayons, best friends, new books and sack lunches. I will cry then, too, because it’s hard to let go. But I will also be so proud, because that is my job, to teach you everything you need to know and help you grow up to be a man. Your daddy and I are amazed at how quickly you learn, how smart you really are. We know you will continue to amaze us. And while I do mourn a little over these milestones, I am even more excited about all those moments to come when you will make us so proud.

Love,
Mama